Smelly Bastard deodorant
Smelly Bastard deodorant
100% natural deodorant that works FOR REAL without injecting carcinogenic chemicals into your receptive little armpit pores... Love your pits for 5 cents a day!
FAQs and Shipping Details below. You can make changes after adding to your cart. Scroll to the top of the page to see what's in your cart.
Because I don't wanna' be a Smelly Bastard or poison myself with anything but whisky!
What's in it?
Pure Coconut Oil
Organic Cocoa Butter
Baking Soda (aluminum-free)
Pure Orange Essential Oil
Yep, that's it! Surprising, isn't it? So simple yet so tough.
It's a convenient solid stick (no icky dipping your fingers into a jar). No parabens. No artificial fragrance. No colour or additives of any kind.
Each Smelly Bastard is made by hand, with a lot of TLC (and a little splash of mischief). Full story and pictures here...
*Aluminum and Disease
Aluminum has been linked to numerous health issues, such as breast cancer, Alzheimer’s and other brain diseases, bone diseases, impaired mental and motor function.
"Clinical studies showing a disproportionately high incidence of breast cancer in the upper outer quadrant of the breast supporting evidence for a role for locally applied cosmetic chemicals in the development of breast cancer. Aluminium is known to have a genotoxic profile, capable of causing both DNA alterations and epigenetic effects, and this would be consistent with a potential role in breast cancer."
- Journal of Inorganic Biochemistry"
Tell me for real - does it really work?
Yes! Here goes a little TMI... Sometimes I get so caught up in my work, I forget to shower. Meanwhile, I get frustrated at my computer and get killer hot flashes and by the end of the SECOND day (36 hours after applying Stinky Bitch - same formula as Smelly Bastard), I still don't smell! Even I find it hard to believe : )
How long does the container last?
Up to a year. About 3 - 4 times longer the average deodorant. It's so dense, you don't need much. Just one quick swipe!
Does it leave a white residue on clothing?
Not at all. (When I was asked this question, I literally rubbed a black shirt over my pits to be sure!)
Will I get yellow stains on my clothes?
You know what causes those nasty yellow stains? Aluminum! It's the interaction between the aluminum and your body's natural chemicals. (Obviously, there's no aluminum in Smelly Bastard.) Also, when a deodorant high in coconut oil is overused, it might cause a little discolouration on some fabrics. The trick is to use very little (one quick swipe). Makes it last longer too : )
I've heard there's a detox period. Is this true?
I've heard about people being extra smelly for the first while after switching to a natural deodorant. I've never experienced it (in fact it was the exact opposite) and none of my customers have mentioned it either. They all say, NO SMELL from the first application forward. I've heard of people getting a rash and being told that it's the body's way of detoxifying. No Smelly Bastard users have ever reported this. I think a rash is more likely a reaction to baking soda. See the next FAQ...
What if I'm sensitive to baking soda?
I use a portion of baking soda that's high enough to be effective and low enough to be gentle. But I did have one client who got a slight rash. So I created an extra gentle formula and it did the trick perfectly! I tested it too, for effectiveness (since I'm a super Stinky Bitch), it lasted throughout the day, but not quite into the second day as with the regular formula. If you typically react to various skin care products (natural included), choose the Gentle Formula when making your selection. UPDATE (May 2019): Other than that one client, I’ve never had anyone react to the regular formula. I’ve only had two requests in four years for the Gentle Formula, so for now, I’ve taken it off the market. If you really want this formula, email me and I’ll rethink my decision : )
Does the product go off?
There are two kinds of 'going off'. One is caused by water and requires preservatives to prevent bacteria from growing. I don't use any water, so bacteria won't grow in your Stinky Bitch. The second is 'rancidity'. Pure oils, like butter, go rancid eventually. The shelf life of the raw ingredients I use is about 1 1/2 to 2 years. This give you plenty of time to use up your deodorant while it's still fresh.
Why is aluminum bad?
Although it isn't considered fact yet, aluminum has been shown to cause numerous health issues, such as breast cancer, Alzheimer’s and other brain diseases, bone diseases, impaired mental and motor function. What we know for sure is that aluminum blocks your sweat glands. Do you really want to trap sweat and nasty toxins inside your body? Gross.
The powders in Stinky Bitch absorb moisture naturally, letting your body function as it was meant to.
Is Smelly Bastard scented?
Only with the very subtle, naturally occurring scent of Essential Oil of Orange and cocoa butter.
After you hit 'add to cart', you still have the option to go back, remove items or change the quantity. Once you provide your mailing address, you'll be given shipping options for your location and any applicable taxes (Canadian buyers only).
If you're in Canada, sales taxes will be calculated after you submit your postal code. If you're outside of Canada, you won't be charged any taxes.
Shipping will be calculated just before you check out. I use Canada Post, which offers reliable service to your door. Our postal employees are well paid, so as lovely as that is, it means Canada's shipping rates are higher then within the US. I've done my very best to offer you the lowest possible fees. I even pass on my business discount to you. And I don't add a handling charge.
How to save on shipping fees
1. Order 3+ items and get free shipping (US and Western Canada; other countries vary: see options before you check out).
2. Buy in bulk for your family or buy gifts (Stinky Bitches and Smelly Bastards are fun to give - you'll be doing their pits a favour).
3. Shop with friends. You can host a delivery and let your friends share the shipping fee.
Do you ship internationally?
Yes! You can choose from surface mail if you're not in a hurry (slow but much cheaper, free with a purchase or 3 or 4 items, depending on your location) or air mail if you don't mind the extra cost. If your country isn't listed in the shipping options, please email me at email@example.com for a quote. Let me know how many items you'd like to purchase
A note on SHIPPING within CANADA
I INVITE YOU TO RANT WITH ME ON THIS ONE. It costs more for me to ship a parcel five blocks down the road than 3000 miles to New York. Or to ship fifty miles up the island than 8000 miles to Wales, in the UK. Yep. I'm serious and I've checked every imaginable option. How does Canada Post explain this? It's their fuel surcharge. Um. OK. So it takes more fuel to carry a parcel a few miles north than all the way across Canada, the Atlantic Ocean and across England to a small city in Wales? *raises eyebrows in disbelief* Consolation? Your Stinky Bitch will last a long time. And you really don't want to inject your freshly shaved pits with toxic chemicals anymore. So it's worth the few dollars extra. Right?
Turn around time
I make fresh batches regularly. So it might take a couple of days to get it whipped up for you. Then allow 5 to 10 days (Canada / US / International Air) for delivery.
LOVE YOUR PITS FOR 5 CENTS A DAY!